Falling

On my lips

Are someone else's words

On my tongue

The taste of someone else

Darling please,

What I mean is something else

I have been

Leading a split life

Now I'm afraid

Of falling between the cracks

And when the dark

Comes to get me, let me be

On my own

Yellow Butterflies

Yellow butterflies
Yellow butterflies
Strewn on the road
Were yellow butterflies

Yellow butterflies
Yellow butterflies
Swept by the water
Yellow butterflies

Yellow butterflies
Yellow butterflies
Could've been blood
If only you'd opened your eyes

Moving On

The same songs are playing again
The same colour in our glasses
Our cheeks
Our lips
And yet, the air has changed
Skin rubs skin still
Memory stirs in fond remembrance
But she says,
We're not 20 anymore
Life has moved on
Love has passed us by
And I submit to her
And her indifference
Like her every other command

Words

My mother said.

I remember you hiding Baba's chappals every single morning when you were hardly 3 years old. So we had to wake you to find them. I remember you dragging Patti inside the bedroom at 6. So nobody else would speak to her but you. I remember you standing with your arms outstretched guarding the door so Dada would not escape. And now you are going away. And I can't close any doors. Stay happy. Stay blessed. Enjoy every moment. And don't sulk.

Me Too

Sometimes I wonder if I imagined it
If I made it up in my head
If I actually spoke up about it
For what happened after
Is as clear as last night's dream
Patches of clear blue,
Blurring round the edges
But it definitely stopped.

And I wonder
If it happened at all.

Then there are days
When I do believe it happened
And I wonder if he remembers
And how he manages to look me in the eye
Muster speech without hesitation
Bring up the courage to smile
And laugh through his shame
If at all he ever felt it.

And I wonder
If I am what he made me.

Anger came easier at the stranger
At whom I desperately searched
For a stone to throw
Alone on that endless road home
Long after he had cycled away
A tune on his lips
And that smirk
That everything was going to be alright.

And I wonder
Why the tears wouldn't stop.

The first time, I didn't know better
By the second, I knew too much
Perhaps that's why I cried
The first time I felt love on my lips,
My hips
And something broken in me gave way,
Useless,
Submerged now with the old.

And I wonder
No, now I know.

Rememory

Flimsy, stuttering, and clumsy
My love shuffles shiftily along
Pausing uncomfortably at corners
She stares hesitantly at her feet
Heaving a great sigh she turns
One awkward corner after another
Dragging the clouds of uncertainty with her
Searching, stopping, continuing
Along the confined spectrum
Of time and space she occupies
Hopeful
Yet utterly lost

The dark sprigs of fancy
Shoot in and out of her heart
Painful with every moment remembered
Comforted by every moment forgot

Blush

The sudden silence
When your loudest thought escapes
Fumbles,
Bites her lip,
And tucks a stray lock away
Behind a reddening ear

And she's done it again.